9 Things Only Ellen Could Get Away With

probably-thinks-shes-sherlock:

bookishamy:

littlebitoftroyler:

pridesite:

1. Delivering pizza at an awards show like it’s totally normal.

2. Getting a million celebrities together to take a selfie and break the Internet.

3. Getting The President to dance on national television.

4. She can get T-Swift to wear sweaters with her and watch cat videos.

5. She can dispense advice like no one else.

6. She is never afraid, even when Jennifer Aniston tries her hardest to scare her.

7. She can convince Britney to shimmy in front of random strangers’ houses.

8. She’s always going to be herself regardless of what people say. 

9. Her haters are her motivators.

If ellen is not your idol theres something wrong with you

i love ellen but i’m pretty sure anyone could get

taylorswift

to wear sweaters and watch cat videos

Ian McKellen is the President of Gay, and she is the President of Lesbian.

(via handcraftedboredom)

somebrokecollegegirl:

riningear:

jenstiel:

pau1y:

thevardi:

apatheticghost:

omfg im laughing so hard i fell asleep on my keyboard last night and i just found this

PAGE 1 OF 184

One entire row of ‘f’s takes 10 seconds to type. There are 45 lines per page, so you take 450 seconds per page. You claim to have typed 184 pages, which would take a total of 82800 seconds, or exactly 23 hours. You are a liar

You forgot that she was holding down the key. This accelerates the rate at which the f’s appear; once the ‘f’s appear at a rapid rate, it’s about 3.4 seconds per line. Also, 45 lines per page is generous - I counted and given that the page is Times New Roman, 12pt font, it’s about 41 lines. 

This means that it’s 139.4 seconds per page, times 184 is 25649.6 seconds, and that rounds out to about 7.1 hours, or 7 hours 7 minutes. 

It’s perfectly reasonable for her to have slept!

(via toastbutteregg)

nikeswooshes:

why wear weed socks when you can just as easily…not…wear weed socks

(via c-teardrops)

eejday:

dekutree:

hwah

wah

(via orgasmic-humor)

tb-the-reesecup:

branbebo:

fvckpyramidz:

The Proud Family (Opening)

Solange’s voice sounds so innocent lol

Can they bring this show back

I smiled so hard omg

(via zackandchody)

(Source: weloveshortvideos.com, via toastbutteregg)

(Source: lolgifs.net, via humorking)

superwhowhedonfighter:

you know how a period is supposed to last 3-7 days

who is that asshole that only has to suffer 3 days

(via lubricates)